Destinations

Destiny sometimes takes on a journey that may seem devoid of knowing its final destination, that is, if we are open to a life in which we are open to the possibility of living a life that is unfolding.
You see, it is easy to live life within the confines of the cages that we often view as ‘comfort zones’. The truth is these cages are not locked and that we have the option to step out and live out our destinies, being open to the where destiny may take us.
It does require a dash of courage and I have found that faith in a higher power to be the a necessary ingredient in the recipe of destiny.

The first half of this year has been a testament of my willingness to step outside of my cage- a very comfortable cage nonetheless- and seek what life may have in store for me. There were times when I did not know what I was doing , how I was going to do it, why I was doing it and even wondered where I was or where I might be next.
Yet, these are exactly the moments when I felt closest to God. I recently read Yann Martel’s ‘The life of Pi’ and came across a line that resonated with me: ‘When we take a step towards God, God runs towards us’.
This reminded me of a truth my pastor uttered one Sunday in which he reminded us that sometimes God takes us to places, where we may feel lost and in those moments when we think that we have been abandoned is precisely when God is closest to us, waiting for us to realize that we were never alone.
During my time in Utah, in a time and place when I felt so far removed from all that I valued as safe and secure, was when I drew closer to God. I realized that in the moments when I thought I was alone, was when I felt the presence of God most powerfully.
This is not to say that God appeared in my life, floating in on a white cloud ready to grant my every wish.

It starts with remembering your relationship with the universe and being able to spend time reflecting and nurturing this relationship – which for me is being in conversation with God… my mother always said I talked too much as a child and ‘why?’ was my favorite question! Perhaps God rolls her eyes too at the sound of my voice !
But truthfully, this is essential to me – nurturing a relationship of communication with God – of course this means that there are moments when I voice my frustration and I get angry with God … upon reflection, these moments of impatient frustration has more to do with me not always being willing to be still and listen to Him – I guess I have some communication skills to work on!

The last few months have been an amazing journey of consciousness for me- being more conscious of who I am and my relationship with God. In this consciousness I have opened myself to allowing God to direct my life’s journey and trusted that I am exactly where I am meant to. Having made the decision to leave Utah, I have found an abundance of blessings along my journey. Now in Chicago, I am realizing my dreams as I live in a city that captured me since my first visit. I have started my elementary teachers training and although it’s a 2 hour daily commute to school (until the end of July!) I am feeling so blessed to have the opportunity to live my life in time to the rhythm of my heartbeat.

So, the journey never ends my friends- right now I continue to be open to where I believe God wants and needs me to be and although I sometimes question the meaning of it all – the most satisfying moments are when I look back and see the pathways I’ve travelled were necessary to lead me to be in the right place at the right time!
I continue to open myself to wherever life my lead me and once you have made peace with this fact, the comforts we thought we knew are no longer comforts, but simply a cage that restricted us from life.
Maya Angelou, whom I believe is a sage of our generation, offers us the following thoughts in ‘Wouldn’t take nothing for my Journey now’:

‘Each of us has the right and responsibility to assess the roads which lie ahead, and those over which we have travelled, and if the future road looms ominous or unpromising, and the road back uninviting, then we need to gather our resolve and, carrying only the necessary baggage, step off that road into another direction. If the new choice is also unpalatable, without embarrassment, we must be ready to change that as well.’

This Little Light of Mine

There is a memory that has been playing in my mind over the last few weeks.
In my memory, I am taken to a 6 year old me. It is one of my favourite memories… I am in the front row of my family church community hall, where we held our Sunday school classes. Always being one of the shortest kids (that hasn’t changed much!), I often found myself in the front row. I am reminded of a song that gave me so much delight then and still does now … ‘This little light of mine , I’m gonna let it shine , let it shine, let it shine , let it shine…’ !
In my minds eye…I can see my six year old self finding such unadulterated joy in singing that song.

This memory has stayed with me over the years, but has been particularly present the last while. So I have given this some thought and this is what I have found.
Thinking back to that moment in my life, I realize that I was so blessed to have grown up in the security of a family that reminded me of God’s love. I am also reminded that six year old me had a better sense of who I am as a person. I realize that as we grow older and we are exposed to life’s cynicism and the disappointments that chip away at our sense of self and our ability to experience pure joy… just real joy, suspending self judgment or those of others.
I have also given some thought to the song that has remained a favourite of mine… ‘This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine…let it shine, let it shine, let it shine’. This song resonates with my soul because it echoes that which I try to live by.
Our light or spirit is something I believe too often we forget to nurture. We allow others to over-shadow our light with criticism, doubt and negativity. But worst of all is that we deny ourselves to shine by not listening to what it is that makes us happy. The joy I remember as a child is the light that radiates and manifests itself in joy, energy, courage and love.
So today I choose to let my light shine. I am choosing not to allow others’ shadows to dampen my light. I believe that my light is ignited by being kind to myself. If we truly embrace who we are and respond with kindness to ourselves… and I am not only referring to acts of self-kindness in the form of candlelit bubble-baths, indulging in expensive chocolates or spoiling ourselves with (another) pair of shoes – although these don’t hurt :) … I am talking about being kind to who you are, really taking time to listen to your heart, to embrace yourself and heal the wounds that life has inflicted.

This memory has made me smile. I realize that in some ways six year old Dale knew a lot more than I do now. So, I have found my angel … he has reminded me that I am loved , that I can experience (real) joy …joy that is not found externally , but joy that is experienced when I let go of what others might think of me singing ‘This little light’ at the top of my lungs. He has reminded me that I have this light and that my life- if I want a life worth living – depends on this light. My angel is me. I am grateful to my six year old self for reminding me.
And so , whenever I am feeling a little shadow hanging over me and my light flickering … I start to hum ‘This little light of mine…’ and before I know it, I am singing to remind myself of my light and when there is light in my life anything seems possible.